Thursday, May 20, 2010

Look forward to now.



That is what I am doing at the present moment. Amidst job interviews and facing imminent change, I am trying to grasp these last precious moments of freedom. It's almost a euphoric state, yet a trance that will be ending soon. Snap back to reality.


Through it all, I have been looking for something, but did not realize I was searching for it. As if my subconscious was leading the way, keeping my conscious mind at bay so as not to be hindered in its quest. Recently, it has merged with my waking, after taking its time and coming to its conclusion. You see, my subconscious is slow and methodical, yet wise beyond the years of which I've existed. It knows that in order to make an important decision, my conscious mind must be kept busy, as it tends to be overly logical, proud, and often stubborn. However, it seems that the time it has borrowed was too great, or perhaps not needed at all. I search for my partner in crime.


So as the days pass, and change draws near, I will not look forward to the future, however it may turn out. I will look forward to now.

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